Do You Like Me?

do you like me?The social implication of being liked or accepted can weigh heavily on some of us. Feeling that we have to be liked can be a part of our DNA or an expectation that was foisted upon us by our families.

When I am assisting others, I usually have 20/20 vision. Everything was obvious to me over the past 8 days while I helped 4 different people with a difficult person or group they were interacting with.

Then I went away for the weekend to a church retreat with my husband, Gerry. One woman’s apparent dislike of me bothered me greatly.  I wondered if I had somehow offended her.

I assumed I needed to alter my approach. Luckily, I was able to express my insecurities to Gerry. He is more of a loner than I am so he is impacted much less when someone excludes him or treats him in an unfriendly manner.

Without hesitation, he said “I noticed her when we first came to this church and she struck me as not an authentic person. She behaves differently depending on who is in front of her. She likes to be the leader of her clique.”

As soon as he said it, the image of her turning her back as I approached a group she was with, not just once but several times, came to mind. One particular time, she even blocked my path to go speak to someone who was on the other side of her. I was asking her to move, and she acted like she couldn’t hear me.

Hey, this was not about me!

Look at the people around youDon’t get me wrong. It is useful to reflect on our behaviors. But we must not take responsibility when others have emotional issues or limiting opinions.

It is totally appropriate to decide to treat that person with loving detachment.

After all, you are wonderful!

Hang out with people who recognize it and value you! Avoiding those who don’t treat you with respect and consideration is part of the recipe for happiness and productivity.

Set some boundaries and let go of trying to please that person.

Because you are worth it!

 

 

 

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