Stop procrastinating that request for a behavior change

It can happen to anyone. We decide not to say something, because it seem so innocuous, but now it’s driving us crazy.

If it’s been awhile, we can feel silly for bringing it up. But not saying anything can and often will damage your relationship or your reputation.

Here’s a video on what I tell my clients that helps them over that initial hurdle. Continue reading

What do you mean “Just”?

I have a client who is dealing with a bad boss. Her boss gets hysterical over inconsequential things, doesn’t plan well or communicate with the staff and is putting the organization at risk.

Her life is spent putting out fires while his is spent lighting them.

Although she has bravely spoken up and alerted the people above him, this will take a while. Continue reading

Waiting for a Crisis to do Something Seems Kinda Dumb

In speaking with a new networking connection, I was telling her that my speaking or training aims to help people create more collaborative environments. She told me that she didn’t need my services because she didn’t have any toxic environments to fix at the moment.

She was surprised at my response. Continue reading

The Truth About Stigma For Mental Health Workers

Having worked in mental health and as a crisis worker, I have seen the back storage room of the store. It’s not good news. Bell Let’s Talk day (January 25th) is a reminder of how much we need to blow the lid off the stigma of mental Illness, for everyone.

I am thinking of a woman that I really admire. She had spent most of her social worker years helping people afflicted with different mental health disorders. Continue reading

3 Secrets to Stay Calm When Receiving Unexpected Feedback

I was given some feedback about my participation in a closed Facebook group that felt somewhat harsh at first. Now, I want to point out that I deeply respect and admire the person who was telling me this. If it had been someone who I didn’t respect, I might not have taken any notice of his comment. But when he brought it up, I felt guilty wondering if I had done something wrong. (Probably because he was so apologetic for bringing it usimple feedback can be a trigger that causes you to become defensive.”p when he told me, which made it sound worse than it was.)

What is funny is that it was such a small thing, and he just wanted to nip it in the bud. I’ll tell you the story below.

Continue reading

It’s Not Easy Dealing With The Holiday Scrooge At Work

workplace scrooge(As published in Huffington Post)

Susan was a fellow office manager. She was given a budget to decorate for Christmas and as she transformed our offices with green and tinsel, she also loudly voiced what a waste of time and money this was. To her, Christmas was about family – not work. The daily snippy comments were annoying.
Continue reading

Survival Guide to the Holiday Flu

1925344-li(As published in Huffington Post)

I still remember as a little girl while at school, I suddenly began to feel very poorly and almost passed out. When the school nurse took my temperature, she immediately called my father to come bring me home. By the time he got there, the cold compresses had had their effect and I felt quite normal. My father punished me for faking a temperature and pretending to faint. To this day when I get sick, I try to power through, convincing myself that it will pass. Continue reading

Review, Release And Resonate Your Way To Success

depositphotos_80193430_1000(Published in Huffington Post)

I just came back from a two day “Think Tank” for forward thinking business people. This experience gave me an opportunity to reflect on the people I’ve been hanging out with since deciding to tip my toe in the world of entrepreneurialism.

Besides laughing and socializing, we shared many personal stories of challenges and how we overcame them; learning from each other. Continue reading

Free Yourself From Emotional Blackmail At Work And At Home

emotional blackmail(Published in Huffington Post)

As a recovering doormat, I struggled with setting boundaries.  But first, I needed to figure out when my boundaries were actually being crossed. When working as a counselor in mental health, I got a crash course on personality disorders. These disorders have a strong element of emotional blackmail to them where another’s boundaries are unimportant. This was an eye opener! Continue reading