What do you mean “Just”?

I have a client who is dealing with a bad boss. Her boss gets hysterical over inconsequential things, doesn’t plan well or communicate with the staff and is putting the organization at risk.

Her life is spent putting out fires while his is spent lighting them.

Although she has bravely spoken up and alerted the people above him, this will take a while. Continue reading

Knitting Lessons about Business Procrastination

At one point, I asked Dad to teach me how to knit. My first project was some uneven potholders for my mom. They were yellow. Of course, Mom loved them.

Eventually, wanting to do follow more intricate patterns, I bought a book on how to knit.

I was having a difficult time understanding one of the steps for a sweater and asked for advice.

The girl at the knitting store told me that I was holding my yarn and needles in the wrong hands. I was basically knitting backwards. Continue reading

Am I allowed to say that?

When I first heard “haters gotta hate”, I didn’t know what it meant until I changed the words to “saboteurs gotta sabotage”. Then it made sense.

When I decided to go out on my own and be an entrepreneur, the skills I needed were opposite from what my environment taught me.

After all, to attract paying clients, I have to put myself out there.
I have to tell people my stories so they can laugh at what not to do.
This is my method of teaching others what I have learned in the school of hard knocks. Continue reading

The Benefit of Not Feeling Attached To Outcomes

If you have children, you have probably read something at some point about how to raise a happy child. They all include the advice of “Love them unconditionally”.

No matter what our children do, love them beyond the behavior. Otherwise, our act of resentment will drag them down and hold them back in life.

Successful parenting always has components of forgiveness, adapting and letting go. Those are elements of unconditional love. Continue reading

Free Yourself From Emotional Blackmail At Work And At Home

emotional blackmail(Published in Huffington Post)

As a recovering doormat, I struggled with setting boundaries.  But first, I needed to figure out when my boundaries were actually being crossed. When working as a counselor in mental health, I got a crash course on personality disorders. These disorders have a strong element of emotional blackmail to them where another’s boundaries are unimportant. This was an eye opener! Continue reading

How To Weeble Your Way To Success

Resilience(Published in Huffington Post)

Years ago, as a single mom I was working very hard to reinvent myself with very few credentials to my name. My financial and emotional bank accounts were constantly being drained with demands and responsibilities. There were days where I would have preferred to stay in bed for a month, but I got out of bed, painted on a smile and picked up my boxing gloves; just like every under-employed single mom I knew.

At work, I had a colleague named Raj. He had a Master’s degree in Mathematics, came from a prominent family, and was newly engaged to a professional woman. They were living the dream and had life by the balls! Continue reading

3 Compelling Reasons Why It’s Not Working Anymore

This isn't working anymore

Also published on Huffington Post

Lately, my schedule has had a huge to-do list every day. I move from one task to the next with barely time to plan ahead. I thought I’d share three slightly embarrassing wake up calls that made me realize that it’s time to slow down and do things differently.

Event #1

Last Thursday morning, looking at the day’s events ahead I decided to book a couple of personal afternoon appointments at the end of my workday that I had been putting off.

I called my dog’s groomer to see if I could bring him over to get his nails clipped at 3 PM. Continue reading

The Truth About Their Flaws

ImperfectYesterday, between moments of writhing in pain under my skilled physiotherapist’s hands, the conversation, as it often does, turned to what we expect from our relationships.

During her dating years, a terrific guy friend got annoyed at her bellyaching and told her to stop looking for the perfect guy to marry. There is no perfect guy! He said:

“Find the guy who has flaws you can live with.”

How brilliant is that?

Continue reading

5 Compelling Reasons to Leave that Horrible Boss

5 Compelling Reasons(Published on Huffington Post)

A good friend speaks about a boss at work, starting his stories with “you’re not going to believe what Paul did, but… “

His boss’ narcissistic ways are legendary. Recently, Paul was explaining to his executive assistant that when people are intellectually inferior and you really want to help them, you hire them as your executive assistant.  This was one of his kinder moments. HR has had to do several interventions, but this guy obviously knows some people. Continue reading

3 Lessons From Highly Successful People

highly successful peopleLesson 1- Highly Successful People Use Their Calculator Differently

I sat down with a new business coach yesterday who I have asked to help me streamline my business and make it more profitable. All coaches will ask you to create some kind of a metric to figure out what to do to move your business to the next level. Like all the other coaches I have worked with, she asked me to figure out how many clients I need to make X amount of money.

Then, Laura Booker, as smart as she is beautiful, used her calculator starting with the number 168. “How many hours do you sleep?” “How much time do you spend on self-care?” “How much time do you spend talking with your family?” Continue reading