You are Amazing! Wait. What did you say?

Out of the blue, someone I know professionally wrote me a quick Facebook private message telling me he thinks I’m amazing. Truthfully, I didn’t even know how to respond. I read it and sat with it for a couple of hours before I responded. It truly confused and bothered me.

He was not pointing to anything in particular I had done.
I expected he was most likely responding to a Facebook opinion post. Continue reading

Am I allowed to say that?

When I first heard “haters gotta hate”, I didn’t know what it meant until I changed the words to “saboteurs gotta sabotage”. Then it made sense.

When I decided to go out on my own and be an entrepreneur, the skills I needed were opposite from what my environment taught me.

After all, to attract paying clients, I have to put myself out there.
I have to tell people my stories so they can laugh at what not to do.
This is my method of teaching others what I have learned in the school of hard knocks. Continue reading

The Truth About Stigma For Mental Health Workers

Having worked in mental health and as a crisis worker, I have seen the back storage room of the store. It’s not good news. Bell Let’s Talk day (January 25th) is a reminder of how much we need to blow the lid off the stigma of mental Illness, for everyone.

I am thinking of a woman that I really admire. She had spent most of her social worker years helping people afflicted with different mental health disorders. Continue reading

Free Yourself From Emotional Blackmail At Work And At Home

emotional blackmail(Published in Huffington Post)

As a recovering doormat, I struggled with setting boundaries.  But first, I needed to figure out when my boundaries were actually being crossed. When working as a counselor in mental health, I got a crash course on personality disorders. These disorders have a strong element of emotional blackmail to them where another’s boundaries are unimportant. This was an eye opener! Continue reading

Challenging Your Confidence and Taking it to the Bank

take your confidence to the bankIt was 1979 and fresh out of high school, she was excited to have her first real job in a bank so close to her house. Even though it was entry level, the HR girl had told her that her testing indicated she scored extremely high and was ready to be promoted as soon as a cashier post opened up. She settled into the checking department, waiting for that opportunity.

Although everyone started in checking or savings, some never left because they didn’t have the right touch with the customers. Debbie, the girl who sat across from her, was not very bright. Although they could both apply for any opening, she felt confident that Debbie was not serious competition. There was no doubt that she would get the next job. Continue reading

27 Signs you May be a Doormat at Work

avoiding difficult peopleDo you suspect you are a doormat at work?

You are successful. People look to you to solve their problems. You love it! You’ve worked hard to get where you are. It’s not just what you do that’s great; it’s also the type of person you try to be, every day. Respectful. Concerned for others. Always looking for the combination of fairness with others and optimal results for the company.

Then, someone comes along who undermines you, makes confusing passive-aggressive comments or just plain avoids responsibility. They break promises and have all types of excuses. Continue reading

5 Compelling Reasons to Leave that Horrible Boss

5 Compelling Reasons(Published on Huffington Post)

A good friend speaks about a boss at work, starting his stories with “you’re not going to believe what Paul did, but… “

His boss’ narcissistic ways are legendary. Recently, Paul was explaining to his executive assistant that when people are intellectually inferior and you really want to help them, you hire them as your executive assistant.  This was one of his kinder moments. HR has had to do several interventions, but this guy obviously knows some people. Continue reading

Do You Like Me?

do you like me?The social implication of being liked or accepted can weigh heavily on some of us. Feeling that we have to be liked can be a part of our DNA or an expectation that was foisted upon us by our families.

When I am assisting others, I usually have 20/20 vision. Everything was obvious to me over the past 8 days while I helped 4 different people with a difficult person or group they were interacting with.

Then I went away for the weekend to a church retreat with my husband, Gerry. One woman’s apparent dislike of me bothered me greatly.  I wondered if I had somehow offended her. Continue reading

3 Proven Practices to Counteract Second Hand Negativity

staying positive(Published on Huffington Post) Have you ever been around someone who has difficulty letting go of old events or who dramatically points out everything that can go wrong? Yeah, me too! We might think they sound angry, impatient or insecure.

When this person is someone we have to be in close proximity with for long periods of time, this negativity can distract us and affect our ability to think clearly, make solid decisions or feel productive.

Even our personal well-being can be compromised if the exposure is too frequent or long. Their negativity affects us just like someone smoking beside us will affect our lungs.  Continue reading

Embarrassment Almost Cost Me My Life

This was published on Huffington Post.

asthma can killIt is December 4 and there are probably 40 people in the room at the “welcome cocktail” for the volunteers of our annual convention. I hug an acquaintance, start catching up and then I start coughing. I take a sip of my wine but the mucus in my throat seems to get thicker.

Cough. Cough. Wheeze. Cough. Some people are looking at me. Oh, how embarrassing.

Deciding to catch my breath privately, I leave and head down the hall looking for a ladies’ room while digging for my asthma puffer. Continue reading