From Second Guessing Yourself to Personal Power

We all want to be part of a dynamic team where everyone feels valued and feel that they can tap into their personal power.
But if you are being honest with yourself, when you think of work, do you sometimes feel unheard, dismissed or even disrespected?
I sure did for years and years. I second guessed myself, didn’t think I was worthy unless someone else gave me permission to speak or would validate what I had said.

I Became a Student of Human Behavior

While I was going around in emotional circles, I saw people around me who didn’t live in fear and anxiety like I did. It took a lot to trigger them to feel intense stress and they naturally rode the ups and downs of life with confidence. I set out to figure out what they did differently and it made all the difference to my happiness levels.

Continue reading

How to Communicate with an Angry Person

I was having a conversation with this amazing construction manager with higher than usual emotional intelligence. Since the projects he does are huge, with up to 250 people to manage, he ends up with different quirks and personalities woven into the mix.

On his current project, he talked about getting several complaints about one person who was overly aggressive. Continue reading

Stop procrastinating that request for a behavior change

It can happen to anyone. We decide not to say something, because it seem so innocuous, but now it’s driving us crazy.

If it’s been awhile, we can feel silly for bringing it up. But not saying anything can and often will damage your relationship or your reputation.

Here’s a video on what I tell my clients that helps them over that initial hurdle. Continue reading

What do you mean “Just”?

I have a client who is dealing with a bad boss. Her boss gets hysterical over inconsequential things, doesn’t plan well or communicate with the staff and is putting the organization at risk.

Her life is spent putting out fires while his is spent lighting them.

Although she has bravely spoken up and alerted the people above him, this will take a while. Continue reading

Check Your Assumptions For Better Outcomes

People always want to know how to have a better outcome with those horrible, difficult people in their lives.

I recently gave 2 keynotes on my topic of increasing collaboration.

After both of them, people came up to me to tell how one simple tool struck them.

What regularly sticks is this small piece of information I share with folks: Continue reading

The 4 Secrets To Making A Difficult Situation Better

copingPublished on HuffPost.

Anger or anxiety disables our thinking brain. We need to re-calibrate what we are thinking in order to reclaim our emotional balance. That being said, when someone is putting pressure on us or elevating our blood pressure, stepping back and approaching things differently can help improve the outcome. Continue reading

How To Weeble Your Way To Success

Resilience(Published in Huffington Post)

Years ago, as a single mom I was working very hard to reinvent myself with very few credentials to my name. My financial and emotional bank accounts were constantly being drained with demands and responsibilities. There were days where I would have preferred to stay in bed for a month, but I got out of bed, painted on a smile and picked up my boxing gloves; just like every under-employed single mom I knew.

At work, I had a colleague named Raj. He had a Master’s degree in Mathematics, came from a prominent family, and was newly engaged to a professional woman. They were living the dream and had life by the balls! Continue reading

What’s The Matter With You?

It’s very easy to judge another. Everyone does it.

On Friday, we went to grab a bite at Wendy’s.  Ahead of us, there was an impatient woman, waiting to be served while a confused, older gentleman was trying to order a Papa burger. A&W is across the street.

They were opening another cash register while the woman angrily barked at the man that A&W is across the street and that this is Wendy’s. Continue reading

You are Amazing! Wait. What did you say?

Out of the blue, someone I know professionally wrote me a quick Facebook private message telling me he thinks I’m amazing. Truthfully, I didn’t even know how to respond. I read it and sat with it for a couple of hours before I responded. It truly confused and bothered me.

He was not pointing to anything in particular I had done.
I expected he was most likely responding to a Facebook opinion post. Continue reading

Is it Better To Promote from Within or Outside?

In reflecting on a conversation I had with a Director of Care and her direct boss at a senior’s residence, I was struck by how unaware they were that their attempts in managing communication flow was causing their current communication breakdown.

The new DoC has only been in her position since December and was promoted from within. Communication breakdown has been a terrible problem for several years. There is a history of staff not being told basic information and clients or their family members unable to get information about their loved ones.  Continue reading