Yesterday, between moments of writhing in pain under my skilled physiotherapist’s hands, the conversation, as it often does, turned to what we expect from our relationships.
During her dating years, a terrific guy friend got annoyed at her bellyaching and told her to stop looking for the perfect guy to marry. There is no perfect guy! He said:
“Find the guy who has flaws you can live with.”
How brilliant is that?
Today she is happily married and she knows that it is because she followed this friend’s practical advice. Both she and her husband work around each other’s differences; each other’s flaws.
In the most meaningful relationships, there are always compromises. Whether we are looking for the perfect life partner, business partner, workplace environment or even the home we end up living in. We must look for the one with the flaws we can live with, without losing too much sleep.
Look at your work colleague. Which flaws make you go “OMG, never again” and which ones have you saying to yourself “Well, I’m never bored here” and move on with your day?
“Pain + Reflection = Progress”
Ray Dalio, co-CEO Bridgewater Associates
The truth about their flaws is the lens you use. Are they crossing your boundaries or asking you to have flexible ethics? Are your physical or professional integrity being put at risk? Basically, is this a deal breaker, or are these just personality differences/preferences that you find distracting and annoying from time to time?
Is it time to check the lens you are using to evaluate that?
I love telephone coaching because of its simplicity and great impact. If you’ve got a situation you’d like to run past me, I offer this one time, no BS telephone consult. After all, two heads are better than one. Toodles. M.