So much is being written on how to be happy. Well, my unscientific observations have led me to conclude that some people prefer not to be happy.
I’m not talking about people who are in a temporary funk or suffering from a depression. The folks I’m thinking about set out to be in a bad mood and resent others who try to help them. It’s like asking them to give up their favorite hobby.
So in the spirit of treating everyone equally this week (and maybe enlighten those of you who wonder how they’re thinking), I’d like to give a few pointers to those who are committed to being unhappy.
In case some positive feelings have managed to slip into your day, here’s how to contain and overcome them.
1. Compare others’ strengths to your weaknesses
If you’ve been feeling competent and good about yourself, no need to worry. It’s as simple as looking around for someone who can do something better than you can. Ignore your natural gifts and avoid building from those assets because that is counter-productive to being miserable. Surely there is someone who spent a lot of money and effort developing something that doesn’t interest you but for which you can resent.
2. Look back and regret
If things have been going well lately, I’m sure you can dig up some skeletons from the past which you can regret. If you’ve let go of those destructive memories, just call a critical relative. They make wonderful historians and love to dredge up negative past events and can easily lay the blame at your feet.
3. Accentuate the negative
It’s as easy as only noticing what isn’t working and tiny glitches that make up part of any normal day. By focusing on feeling sorry for yourself, something as simple as a paper cut or running out of toilet paper can ruin your day.Don’t hold back, amplify those feelings so everyone can share in your day. By focusing, you can create all the drama you thrive on and hopefully even drag down the people around you.
4. Be like an engineer.
Engineers look ahead and map out everything that can go wrong. Developing this pessimism takes a little bit of imagination by assuming nothing will work. If people point out all the possible positive results, just start out every sentence with “Yeah but…”. Think of Eeyore as your model for this approach to life.
Don’t worry, Eyeore is a fictional character so his positive friends stick around him. But with practice, you will perfect his approach and your non-fictional friends will tire of you and stop trying to help. This sense of abandonment is a bonus.
5. Blaming others increases desired outcomes
Despite all your best efforts, if good things continue to happen, just begin blaming everyone else for your poor life choices, your health issues, for even the smallest failures or disappointments. By pointing out to others how they have failed you or pinning the blame on them for not stopping you; you will soon find yourself attracting the ideal environment for your misery: I can pretty much guarantee that!
I’m hoping this made you smile! 🙂 If there is a hint of self-recognition, no worries; seeing a little of ourselves increases our self-awareness and is a wonderful gift.
If you find yourself wanting to change some old habits but don’t know how, I’d love to help.
If you live with someone who lives their lives like this: Yikes! Getting some help to set better boundaries to protect your well-being might be a worthwhile investment.
“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” Dalai Lama XIV